There is a very funny e-mail that floats around that almost every rabbi must get at one time or another. It is a small collection of children’s answers to questions that are posed in religious school.
For instance, one said that Noah’s wife was “Joan of Arc.”
When asked about the fifth commandment, another one said that the fifth commandment is to ‘humor your father and your mother.”
When asked who Lot’s wife was, a first grader replied that she was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire at night!
And, finally, one little girl said upon completion of the unit on the Jewish wedding ceremony that in Judaism a man can have only one wife and this is called monotony!
If you have ever taught children, and most of us have at one point or another, there is, I think, nothing more magical or meaningful. Children are usually full of enthusiasm and are willing and ready to learn from adults. And the best part about teaching is when a child, no matter how old, hits the ‘ah-ha!’ point and finally begins to understand what it is you are trying to teach.
Religious education is filled with its ‘ah-ha’ moments, some of them very funny like the ones I shared with you before and some very meaningful and poignant. Sometimes the moments come in waves as when a child dives into Jewish life and it seems that they can not get enough of it. I am thrilled to say that we have a good number of such children at [our synagogue]. Sometimes, a child’s religious awareness comes more slowly and methodically and she begins to flower Jewishly well into the teenage years. But no matter when the Jewish awareness takes place, to watch grow in Jewish faith and life is energizing and inspiring. There is nothing more moving that to see a student understand the history of our people through the celebration of a festival or to see them tackle a tough piece of Rabbinic text or to be invited to be a part of their spiritual quest in an effort to understand the meaning of God and Torah in their life.
Since I began teaching ever since I started as a student teacher at Holy Blossom Temple in Toronto when I was 16 years old, there has not been one day when I have looked back and asked myself if it was all worth it. To be a part of the Jewish moments with thousands of my students over the years has never caused a regret. In fact, if you have taught in a religious school, you probably feel as I do; that no matter how old or young the children are, when they are with us, a precious moment is given to us where when we touch the future of the Jewish people in a profoundly meaningful way.
Our Sages, of course, had the same feeling every time they opened the yeshiva doors and taught hundreds of generations of Jews whose love for Torah was passed on from their generation to ours. And from the very first day the students walked into cheder, they would begin in the very book that Rachel and Rebecca will be reading from tomorrow: the book of Leviticus.
This is odd, since Leviticus has to do with the sacrifices temple service which, then as now, is no longer extant and is not really expected to be around any time soon nor is it particularly wanted by the vast majority of the Jewish world. So why begin with the Book of Leviticus since it seems to have so little bearing on being Jewish these days and, frankly, does not have more than a few handful of really good stories and passages in it that kids can sink their teeth into?
The rabbis responded to this, question and it reflects on how they saw and treated children. Rabbi Assi who lived some 2,000 years ago asked:
How come young children begin their studies with the Book of Leviticus and not with the Book of Genesis?
Their answer:
Surely it is because young children are pure, and the sacrifices are pure; so let the pure come and engage in the study of the pure.
The sacrifices offered to God were pure of heart and intention and so to teach that approaching God in full heart and devotion is part of holiness, the rabbis established the tradition that children begin with the Book of Leviticus. As the rabbis said, “Let that which is pure begin with that which is pure.”
In the Reform movement, the tradition of beginning with the Book of Leviticus is a tradition which has pretty much fallen into disuse. The most obvious reason is that we do not have 6 or 7 hours a day to educate your children. In fact, we have so precious little time every week to teach Torah and Jewish practice, God and spirituality. As a result, our Religious School, like every other one, has to choose what parts of the Tanach we want to communicate to the children. Leviticus is not easy to study and so Leviticus is not a part of the curriculum as the other books of the Torah and Tanach.
But even though we may not teach Leviticus specifically, the message that the rabbis have taught us is that the children that come into our care are holy and precious and they can inspire us even when we are teaching and inspiring them.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case in Jewish education. Too often the purpose of Jewish education is not ‘lishma’— education for its own sake, but rather ‘l’tekes’ — education so that the child can have enough years under his or her belt so that he or she can have their bar or bat mitzvah and then no longer be a part of any formal Jewish education.
The yeshiva, the school in which our children learn the facts and gain the enthusiasm for being Jewish, is too often a place that competes with the soccer field, the karate dojo, the mall, or any number of other activities that our teenagers are involved in. Too often commitment to Jewish education is limited by, our child’s age, our child’s ability to ketch, and our own need to avoid conflict. Indeed, too often, our Jewish commitment begins to wane one week after the bar mitzvah party.
It is like the story of a lovesick Romeo who once wrote:
My dearest love, I would swim the mighty ocean for one glance from your lovely eyes. I would walk through a wall of fire for one touch of your delicate hand. I would traverse the widest river, climb the highest mountain for a single word from your warm lips. As ever, your faithful love. P.S., I’ll come to see you next Saturday if it doesn’t rain!
Jewish education is like all others, except the values it communicates to our children are values that we as a people have cherished for thousands of years. And if we want our children to stay committed, we need to begin instilling those values at the earliest possible time.
As any parent will tell you and that has been borne out by research, a child’s brain cell development and a good part of the child’s personality is complete by around three years old. It’s all downhill from there! So it is essential that the environment that the child lives in is laden with the values and experiences that we as parents want to transmit to them. To put into a Jewish context, if want to leave a lasting impression about the excitement and the joy of being Jewish and about Jewish learning and study and living, we need to act within the first few years of personality development.
The recipe of waiting until just before Kindergarten before religious education starts and then dropping the kids off here on Sunday morning and hope they absorb enough Jewish by Sunday at noon and then repeat this process for a few years generally does not work. A child needs more experiences and needs them as often as possible.
Of course, there is no way that every teenager will stay beyond the bar or bat mitzvah. That would be a miracle and, as the rabbis said, “Don’t depend on the miracle.” But not depending on the miracle does not mean that the miracle can’t happen anyway. And that is why the Reform movement has responded to this dilemma in a wonderful and creative way. Our movement is actively making the miracle of kids wanting to continue learning Judaism a reality.
Recently, our movement has begun a project that begins this Jewish education at the earliest age. If you are a parent, you know that the some of the best quality time you can spend with your child is just before bedtime. You tell stories, you read books, and you bond in ways that manifest themselves years later. Imagine how much Jewish value you can impart to your children if a Jewish bedtime book is part of the routine or a tape with Jewish music is the lullaby.
To this end, our movement has created age-appropriate material especially for use at bedtime by Reform Jewish parents and their kids. The books are colorful and value-laden and filled withYiddeshikeit. I am proud to say that we are actively going to be a part of this project.
Beginning today and continuing every week we have school on Wednesdays and Sundays for several weeks, each of these books, with some parental resources, will be available to look at and order either through the temple or personally. There will be a table out in the foyer and, I promise, you won’t miss the display or the intent of the whole thing!
Bill Cosby has a wonderful routine he does which is a take off on that great hero of the past generation, the Lone Ranger and his American Indian sidekick, Tonto:
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through a Western ravine when suddenly hostile Indians appear from all sides.
“Tonto, we’re surrounded!” shouts the Lone Ranger.
To which Cosby’s Tonto replies, “What do you mean we, white man?”
Though funny, like the Lone Ranger, too often we as parents are caught off-guard and our children have grown up dancing wonderfully, kicking a soccer ball with expert precision or hitting a baseball with consummate skill but are too often religiously empty. Would that the day come soon when our kids come home and say something like, “Mom, dad, can we go to temple this evening and spend Shabbat together?” It happens, but it happens too infrequently.
Every day affords another opportunity to turn the odds toward an ongoing Jewish experience in our children’s lives. The new Reform Initiative is a good start and will undoubtedly change the lives of both parents and children. But commitment must continue not only through childhood but through young adulthood, as well and we need to impress the importance of it to our children unequivocally and be very clear about why we are so committed. To be unclear is to deny our children the beauty of splendor of Judaism.
Two neighbors were both men of few words. Their conversation went something like this:
Mornin’. What did you give your horse when he had colic?
Turpentine.
Thanks.
A few weeks later the two meet again.
You said you gave your horse turpentine for the colic?
Yep!
I gave mine turpentine and it died!
So did mine!
My friends, we need to be unequivocal to our children about their Jewish education way beyond bar mitzvah age. If we do not, they are getting a message we may not want to send; namely, that the bar mitzvah is the end. I know of no parent who wants to send that message, yet that is what our kids are hearing all too often. Hasn’t the time come to change the tune?
If your kids are very young, look into the new Reform Bedtime Rituals. If your kids are older, make sure they stay in Religious School. And while it is true that we should not depend on the miracle that our children embrace Judaism as a thirsty man drinks water, the miracle will indeed happen if we, as parents, give as much thought to religious education as to who to invite to the bar mitzvah. And that miracle begins when every one of us whose dedication to God, Torah and the Jewish people becomes as natural to share with our children as the bread upon our table. Let us all begin to share that bread of Jewish commitment for the flavor of Judaism is sweet and its sustaining power strengthens throughout our lives.
How can we not share it with our children? May God help us perform this miracle day by day.
From <https://americanrabbi.com/the-bnai-mitzvah-mishugas-by-cy-stanway/>
